Is there anything better than downing a can of Schlitz at 7am on a Monday?  Well, yes, probably lots of things because chugging a Schlitz is pretty darn disgusting, but it was still the best way I could have ever celebrated my birthday in this city.  On a chilly Monday morning, one day after I turned 30, my twin sister Kim picked me up and we drove on over to Ray’s Happy Birthday Bar at the corner of Passyunk and Federal.  Ray’s opens at 7am Monday through Saturday, and I’ve always been curious about the type of person that would go there at that time.   What better way to find out than by becoming one of them myself?

Armed with a cheesesteak from Pat’s (conveniently located only one block away), we entered Ray’s in our sweats and slippers (remember, it was 7am), followed closely by several friends looking to share in the wonder of this early morning event.

breakfast of champions

To start the day off on a fairly unbearable yet amazing note, we toasted with our cans of Schlitz and then raced to finish them, which was a highly unsuccessful endeavor.  (Jimmy put us all to shame, but I’m happy to say that I kicked his ass in round two.)

the most disgusting chug of all

As we continued to get our drink on (which included “Jager bombs” that were just glasses full of Jager and ginger ale), the owner – Ray’s son, Lou – brought us over a bottle of champagne, free t-shirts and a birthday Schlitz, which was a can dressed up with two candles taped to it.  Classy.

who needs cake?

The drinking continued, which led to dancing, which led to free drinks and more dancing.  It was a vicious, drunken cycle of awesome.

this is how we always dance

Turning 30 is a milestone that many a woman dreads.  For them, it’s a sign that they have passed their prime, no longer the partying, easy going young thing that gets picked up at the bar on a Saturday night.  30 is like the ushering in of a new era for these ladies, one in which they are ready to shrivel up and waste away with 12 cats and a basketful of yarn and knitting needles.  What they need is a drunken dose of Ray’s while playing hookey from work.  And who knows?  They may just see me there.