Once upon a St. Valentine’s Day, one young lady (we’ll call her Kellie), accompanied by her trusty “WingWoman,” (also known as Stephanie) set out to find her Prince Semi-Charming along the fabled Mile of Meet.
She traversed to a far away land in the City of Brotherly Love – otherwise known as Manayunk – to walk along a Main Street lined with men from far and wide; young and old; black and white (and everything in between) and battle other hopeful single ladies in search of that long sought-after fairytale ending (or one-night stand, whichever worked best after fueling up on $4 Cupidtinis).
Armed with her “You Lost Me at Hello” t-shirt, Kellie perused the various eligible bachelors and, in the process, was able to snag a photo-op with local celebrity Steve Ward as well as a monkey-on-a-bicycle balloon animal.
Plenty of potential suitors were more than willing to strut their sad stuff on the stage (i.e. by demonstrating their “Situations”, lip-syncing to “I’m Too Sexy,” or reading erotic poetry) but none caught Kellie’s eye quite as much as one of the helpful match-making elves, also known as an “Ice Breaker.”
Even though Kellie worked hard to win the affections of this young man, in the end, the best part of her night was spending time with her loyal “WingWoman” taking pictures in the photo booth and noshing on the free brick oven pizza.
After searching high and low, and slaying a few cougars in the process, Kellie discovered that Manayunk is not the enchanted forest and love don’t live there anymore. Despite this, though, Kellie left hopeful and with a renewed sense of adventure in her quest to find Prince Semi-Charming (probably in a place other than Manayunk – although if you are looking for Prince Frosted-Spiked-Tips-I’m-Somewhat-of-a-Douche-and-not-so-Charming, you will have found your perfect ending).